So, today was a very productive day. Cleaned out a couple of things in the house. I started the couch to 5k, and my legs are fine but my left shoulder is killing me. Go figure. So, tomorrow I have somethings to do that didn't get done today but its not too much.
When I was cleaning some draws out I found something. A dream I had. I going to retype it here as a remembrance. Also, maybe eventually I'll understand the things around it.
~The first thing I remember is knowing that I loved this guy but I seemed to be afraid of him. First time I was sleeping with him. I was sleeping, at the foot of the bed. When he woke up he didn't understand why I was there but he didn't speak of it really. The next time we were sleeping in a different room and in the bed side by side. Seemed happy but I needed to get up to go to the bathroom. I seemed very anxous and worried about going. I got up and went to the bathroom. It was connected to the room and the other bed room. I couldn't close the door all the way. Either of them. While I was peeing, the guys mother came home, and came into the bathroom. I was very scared. The next thing I knew I was on the porch crying. It felt almost like the guy had proposed of something. I was happy and extremely sad. It was like all of these memories started pouring into my memory. The next thing I knew I was in a restaurant (that actually turned into the trailer we were living in). I was with this guy (I think). I received a full page hand out. There was some kind of old timey brown and white pic on one side of it. I can't remember what the pic was. All I remember is a woman's eyes. On the other side, was the word blossom, in big brown (same brown as the other side). The guy that gave it to me said that this word had a way of calming people down. The next thing I knew two men and a woman came into the restaurant and was taking everyone hostage. Everyone was in a panic. The guy was at the counter in the back. I went over there, rang the little silver bell, and said blossom. Right away everything was calm and the only people there was me and my sister, the two men (one of which was the one I was in love with at thembeginning of the dream.), and the other guy was his brother, and the woman, which was his mother. We were now in the trailer and living together but me and my sister were prisoners but free to move around the trailer. The guys brother started losing it, and he decided to rape my sister. She went nuts, and I begged for him not to hurt her so he took me instead. He raped me viciously but I don't think I actually experienced it in the dream. I remember being beaten up after though. The guy (porch love guy) was then told to rape me, by his mother. I heard him say from the porch where we were talking and I was remembering that he did it not because hewant to do it, he hated it, but he was afraid of what his brother and mother would do to me, if he tried to protect me. The next thing I knew his mother wanted to take me out. I was in a dress that I would never wear. The next memory was me running in fields, and by a house trying to escape her detection. I was terrified. I forgot. When I took the rape for my sister, she was disappeared but came back at this point. The next thing in the dream. His mother, the guy and me decided to go to the movie. His little brother (the crazy one) wanted tot stay. When we went to the movie, my dream stayed with the brother. He was packing and trying to escape. We then came home. There was a man and a woman with a child about 1 year old, in the trailer, with the brother. The mother came in the back door because she some how knew that the brother was trying to leave. She had a nail gun and she shot him in the stomach. He then went out to see his brother (the guy on the porch). The guy talked to him and tried to understand. The guy seemed truly sorry for what he had to do. The guy took his gun out and started putting a silencer on it. He had problems doing that. I'm not sure where I was at this point. Then we were back on the porch and I was coming out of the memory.~
Its weird. After reading this dream, parts of it I can see again clear as day. The question is, what the hell does it, or did it, mean.
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