Wow, it's been awhile. I've been really busy. Still am but thought that maybe I should write, anyway. Until last night I was keeping myself busy enough to not worry about anything. The drunk feeling comes and goes but hasn't been too bad. Last night it got really bad.

I went to the eye doctor. Well, I was feeling a but light headed but not bad at all, until the doctor started talking about my migraines. He wants me to do some tests. He said maybe they stem from the eyes. At that point, I didn't just have a slight buzz feeling, I had that full on drunk feeling. Head swimming. Body buzzing. I was sure he noticed but he didn't say anything. How could he not notice? Then he started talking about how much worse my eyes are. I told him that it had gotten so much worse in the last month to a month in a half. When he obviously got worried about this, I lied. I don't know why but I did. I didn't want to but it just came out. I don't really think I had a choice in the matter. What came out of my mouth was, "well, I mean, I noticed it a little here and there but just really paid attention to it recently." That was so not true but he seemed to feel better about it after I said it. Why couldn't I be honest?

Ever since last night, my head won't stop swimming. I'm freaking out a bit. I had a strange ass dream last night that I can't really remember but know that it was very disturbing. All I can remember is a car.

I sent my T bill but haven't heard from him. I wrote a note in it asking him to make me an appointment as soon as he got it. I did that because I was sure I would put it off, and figured I should get in there soon.